Hi! I read your posts and I have to say that I think you've been pursuing your H way too much. The more you contact him, stop by to say hey, etc. the more he's going to retreat/run away. My two cents would be to back off for awhile, and spend that time thinking about what you posted above - is it worth it to fight for the M or not. If you believe it is, then read DR cover to cover and apply the techniques.
I'm new to the concepts too, but I feel much better about myself when I just focus on me and my kids and less on what H is up to. You can't control him away, and those attempts to control make him defensive. I also married a younger man, and agree that you really have to watch your words and actions so it doesn't come across as a parent-child R vs. equal partners.
Best of luck to you. Keep posting, and spend some time thinking about what you want and what's best for the kids.
