I'm sorry you feel like you are being judged G, I think that's the last thing any of us is trying to do. What we are trying to say is that "staying" a victim wont' help you. Yes, we've all been victims of very selfish people and we've been hurt, our next step is to use what's happened to us as a stepping stone to a better life. I have seen 3 different Cs, the last one was the best, everytime I left his office I felt I made progress. That's the rule of thumb, if by the 3rd visit you haven't had any progress then it's time to get a new.
To paraphrase from the book "healed without scars": "...the underlying cause of T's brokenness was that she had lost sight of her true reason for living...she was driven by the wounds of her divorce... Her purpose for herself had been to have a relationship with her exH. All her dreams had been wrapped up in him. That is why, when the R failed, she had felt lost... ...I asked her if she'd forgiven her H for leaving her. "I will never forgive him" she said. "then he will always be in control of your life" I replied... ..FOrgiveness is a release...if she didnt' forgive her H it would be as if she were tied to him by a rope for the rest of her life...her anger was not affecting him one way or another. She was wasting her anger on him when she should be angry with herself for allowing him to control her life. The greatest insult was not the fact that he had left her. It was that she was still holding on to him with her anger long after he was gone... God wants to heal you of youR pain and restore you to His original purpose--demostrating the same creative power that He used in forming the world...the enemy desires to restrain you and cast you into the furnace -- not a physical binding but a binding of the spirit; not a physical furnace but a potentially tragic circumstance...his desire is that the entire ordeal would ultimately destroy your faith, kill your hope and seal off your promise, leaving you wounded and scarred for life... You have been created for wholeness, victory, recovery and breakthrough...a life of wholeness without scars..."
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
