so alot of what we've been talking about is our experiences and seeing how our behaviors are partially responsible for what got us into these problems, we became lesser men and now we're finding out how changing our behaviors will get us better results but ultimately the end result we want more than anything is to respect & love ourselves because then regardless of what happens with our marriages, we will be able to perservere and continue living a life worth living.
One question I have to ask you is this, what have you currently done about your situations: I'll use both you Beno & MakingIT. Have your wives legally separated from you, have they filed for separation or divorce? How long have you been separated/living apart?
I hear terms like "going dark" being sprinkled in some of your responses, and I'm not sure that's going to necessarily help here (again I'm not guaranteeing anything either way).
If you've been reading all of our recent posts, you should now see that you have alot more information than most men in the same situations. Having information available yet failing to act is like having good intentions, nice to have them but they don't get anything done - in fact they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
In your current situations, you've observed your own behaviors now (and how you need to start changing) and you've definitely been observing/investigating your wive's behaviors (both in how they're living, their attitudes towards your relationships/marriages and their attitudes towards you). Do any of you believe that your wives are having an affair or are on the cusp of the beginning of a potential affair. If you feel certain they aren't, then you wouldn't spend so much time here talking about it I have to assume.
I'm sure I've said it before and if I haven't I'll say it now, your marriages will probably end if you keep pretending that nothing is wrong and you continue to grovel for your wive's affection (phone calls, texts, gifts, money, being submissive and taking crappy cruel behavior from your wives, etc.) Remember that women have no respect for men who are afraid of them and that women are actually quite mean to the men who do.
Are you both ready & feel strong enough to do what must be done regardless if it means the end of your marriages?
(your next questions will invariably be what is it that we should do Rob but before you ask what you should do, look at your respective situations and be honest if you are strong enough to let them go or if you want to drag these situations on for months and possibly years?)
