Glad to see you still putting up a fight, but I see some ineffective thinking/moves ...
"I asked H if we could meet today to go shopping ... There is absolutely NO connection ..." Shopping to him is like "electronic devices" to you, so ... your expectations may indeed be be unrealistic here and may lead you to think negatively.
"why dont WE go Friday after I finish together? ... I will make my own schedule and probably leave Thursday" No! IMO you need to grab hold of any common ground!
"It sucks to be him \:\) ." Please don't think along these lines; it breeds contempt which is very bad for marriage!
"When he left I called and asked him if he had seen my emails, he said no, he would check his account when at the office. That was 6 hours ago and still no message or call." Again try not to let your expectations get in the way ...
"My dad looked as if he had just gotten pardon from the governor of Texas." Yes, they are pretty hard-nosed about sending people to the gallows there tho' they claim to be pro-life. Good to hear about your dad, he seems like such a kindly old gentleman.
"... the more selfish I become, the "smaller" he looks." Not sure I fully understand this ... but be careful how you "think" as often "feelings" follow.
Among the ton of books I've read over the last 2 years, there's one I remember that deals with this sore point called "settling" by Joshua Coleman: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/books.html
