Do you want her number or e-mail so you can b*tch her out in Greek?
She will get hers in time. I hate that fact as she is the mother of my beautiful baby and we had 12 years together, but there is nothing I can do but sit back and let her destroy herself over time.
D is hurting. Tonight, she was snapping at me and I asked her if she was upset w/Daddy and wanted to talk about anything. She said she doesn't like it that "mommy" and I aren't together anymore and she said she thought it was my fault we were apart (because that is what she was told by XW).
So, we talked. I told her it takes two people to make a marriage and two people to break it, and "mommy" and I are both at fault. I told her I didn't want to be unmarried and I tried all I could to keep us together. I said sometimes people can't stay married and I miss being w/her everyday, I miss our house, I miss the other dog, and I miss having a family (notice the omission).
I told her I'd always love her and I'm here for her to talk or for whatever she needed at all times. She cried a bit and I held her until she fell asleep in my arms.
I hate seeing her in pain. I know it will be better for her in time, but now she's so confused and in pain. XW's decisions and words have done more harm to our baby than she'll ever realize.
I am sorry G is hurting. This is another reason you need to stay stable and sane. You are her only model to grow up and learn what love and committment is. (an another reason for me to dislike your W-as if I needed another one, LOL!!) K
No, Sunshine, you didn't need any more ammo to dislike my XW. I'm not sure anyone who has seem my sitch needs any more. She's such a mess that she's unlikable. I'm wondering how long things will last w/the new man she has now.
Anyway, I'm trying to stay stable for D. She needs me and I need her. If I can be a positive for her then I've done my job as her father.
Well, yesterday and today were a mixture of emotions for me. I ranged from being both sad and angry w/XW.
Sad b/c of the loss of family which really hits home when D brings up how much she misses us being together. Then the anger hit as I started to think of XW not trying to save us, her making up her lies, her affair... everything.
Then last night as D asnd I were coming home from an Easter party where we both enjoyed ourselves (D probably more than me), but when we were getting gas, D brought up the marriage thing again and we talked a bit while the gas was pumping (and D was cleaning the car windows - not a professional job as they look a bit worse than when she started, but she felt good about doing it and the job she did, so I complimented her and let her keep going. I can always re-do them later).
D told me she understands our not being married is both of our faults and she said that "mommy loves (BF) now." To which I replied, yes she does, then D said, "But we don't get to see (BF) much any more, but it is ok. I'm ok if Mommy doesn't have a boyfriend."
So I told D I was sorry b/c I knew she liked (BF), but then the mixture of sadness and anger came up.
This is the start of things that I was praying my baby wouldn't be exposed. Another man come and gone from XW's life and I know it will only continue from here. That is why I'm sad for D and angry at XW for everything she's doing that I have to undo.
So, I was twice as down when I took D back to XW today. I didn't want her to go away - I never do - but today was as bad as it had been in a while.
So, that is where I'm at right now. Easter was good and she enjoyed the meager fare the Easter Bunny left for her. I think that too played into things as I'm so f-ing strapped for cash that I couldn't get her the things I wanted to and do Easter up more.
I realize it is all inside of me and D didn't care or notice, but it is another thing that brings up the sad/angry feelings for being in the state I'm in.
I HATE DIVORCE! It just sucks for everyone involved! No other way around it.
I know things will be better in time, but for now, for today, I'm not a happy camper on many fronts.
Hi Rob (((()))) I am so sorry that your little one is having to go through this. The fact that she talks to you in such away speaks volumes for the kind of Daddy you are. She will be fine with such a great friend and confidant as you. The fact you are her daddy makes it a double blessing. I hope you are feeling proud of all your achievements.
On the point of not being able to give her the easter you would like too, I understand your feelings but it is purely materialism and what you actually give your daughter in terms of love and support is priceless. I am glad you realized that it didn't actually matter to your daughter. You had those feelings now let them go. You know there is nothing you can do about the x, but plenty you can and do do for your daughter. My x professes to love his kids (adults now) he never sees them -I am talking years. He asked for me to set up a meeting when my d had her son I did,he visited once when g/son was 8 months, he is 2 soon and they never heard from him again. Recently my d discovered he has been putting money into g/sons account on a fairly regular basis(not large amounts, he is not wealthy) which do you think matters more to her and g/son? Don't beat yourself up. Money buys nothing in situations like this, or did you want the status of being a Disney Dad--hmm I thought not. Take care.
I'm sorry she's going through it too. It isn't right nor is it fair for her. XW is damaging her and it breaks my heart to have to sit back and let it happen. I can't control XW, but I wish she was capable of controlling herself.
As for the material things, I know they aren't important, but the quality time together is what counts. Your XH doesn't get it and while the college money will come in handy, his own personal issues will not only deprive him but will lead to some bitterness and/or sadness in his daughter and grandchild. It doesn't appear to be so difficult, but unfortunately for a lot of people it is.
Today, I took McDonald's up to school and had lunch w/D. She didn't want me to leave and preferred to sit w/me instead of playing w/her friends. I'm going back over the next few days to do the same thing and I asked her teacher if she needed any "parent assistance" this week to let me know.
I'm glad I went as there really isn't anything that is more important than spending time I have available w/my D.
