I know......I had always wanted to use that line.....LOL
Love and affection.....think about that and find a way to do that without saying it or getting too close for comfort for him.
Guilt is what is causing him to NOT want that from you. And it isn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as you are NOT the one giving it to him.
He will respond negatively to anything that he feels threatening to his actions. Don't push those buttons for him.
Trust has to be earned, and you have every right NOT to right now.
You are still really early in this, and the BEST way to get through it is to just take that look in the mirror and do the things that YOU need to do. Learn and read as much as you can, and understand WHAT is happening around you. Things will get brighter for you the more you let go and just do the things that affect you.
Anything else will be viewed as a ploy, and written off as not being real. Not what you want....
Make this about you and what you can do to be better. I always viewed this as a two for one special.....yes, he is going through some things with himself, but you get to as well. You get to look in the mirror and really do the things, and be the person that you always wanted to be. Devote that time to your children , and show them the "correct" way to deal with issues in their life. Not by running away from them.
Change is difficult to do, but not impossible....
Change is something that we generally view as unapproachable, but it really only is when we are TOLD that we have to. If WE initiate it ? Well then.....we are open to it.
Let change start with you, and good things will happen....Maybe not with your marriage, but with you.....
