No use to bring up the good things, she will lie to your face. My wife said all kinds of things that were just not true, things like not having fun on trips in which I know she did, but this would not justify her feelings so she would lie and tell me how she never really loved me, no fun, hated sex, blah blah blah, script script script of the waw.
How can you say you respect her decision, I sure as hell don't, I do not respect those that want to quit on something that they vowed not to, especially without even working on it nor even letting me know something was wrong. I let her know that up front, and that was that, no use of going over it again and again. However, I think your time has past to blow up at her as I did my wife in the beginning. But I sure would not tell her that I respect her decision.
Remember people do not like to think they make bad decisions, so sometimes they need to maneuver away from a bad decision with keeping their dignity, (eventhough it would be more dignified, if they just said, well I am sorry I did that, lets work on this thing).
Rambling now, are you getting what I am saying?
Burt
I absolutely get what you are saying! Thanks for the advice.
It is amazing how similar these situations are. How they repaint history as being horrible and full of misery. If it was that damn bad, why the hell couldn't they say that? Why were they laughing, cutting up and seemed to be enjoying the living [censored] out of their disasterous life that they could no longer bear to be in?
Sorry for the sarcasm, but I have to vent it somewhere.
I am giving her the space that she asked for when she left. I am also reflecting on just how screwed up this sitch is. You don't make love, go out together, hug and kiss each other and then the next night say "I need a separation" without talking about it. Never even mention a peep about being unhappy in the marriage prior to this. Go get an apartment, new furniture and run out the door. Then say "I don't know what I want, so give me time". Fortunately, I am in a position that I can keep things afloat, but she had responsibilities outside of the marriage that she just ran from that I am now dealing with. Now she is playing the poor me song saying that I have all the friends, family and the house and she is in a 1 BR apartment that she can bearly afford because of her bills. The sympathy and sorrow that I had is fading quickly. This sitch has been entirely her decisions and it is dragging me through the ringer.
I love her and I do want to work things out, but this sitch is NOT ok with me!
..... there, I feel a little better now!!! ;-)
M 30 WAW 29 T 15 M 5 ILYBNILWY 3/8/09 Separated 3/14/09
