I think if you can, get her to stop talking to her family about this. In the most diplomatic way, IF you can. It's important for all of them, and your family too, to stay out of it. If she won't stop talking to them about all the dirty details, then tell her "Your family loves you. They want you to NEVER hurt or be in pain. So if they see me as a source of pain for you, they are going to advise you to cut me out, like cancer. But if you do that, it's you and me and our little girl who pay the price for your family convincing you to do something they don't have to live with."
My H was talking to his mother a LOT. She sent me an email that said she and my FIL love me, H and I tried, it didnt' work out, it's time to move on. When I got that email, I knew officially how little my MIL knew about the situation with H, like how much time we are together and dont' have to be, his doing. That we are still ML, etc. She has recently become enlightened. This after the email and she followed it up with a phone call to me. My H, her S had no idea she was going to email me or call me. She and I talked. (I did respond to the email with "Thank you for caring so much about me" and I was sincere.) I didn't let her in on much but asked her a few questions. H was sitting right next to me when she called. I was very respectful to her. I have no reason not to be, she's been pretty good to me adn I believe always will be. But some of the things I asked her made her question my H. And that's when he had to come clean to her. She didn't talk to him for almost 2 weeks. And he was man enough to not get mad at me or her. This was his doing for not telling his parents everything, for trying to make it look like I was nutz to justify his wanting to leave. Now his mother understand, I'm not playing games. Based on his actions I've held on to hope. She gets it now. And she's butt out completely and only asks about her grandson and how he is doing.
