INTERESTING!!!!

[Treese]

MOOOOOOMMMMM

I do so well for a while then I stumble and get so down....

H texted me yesterday to see if I was picking up son at D22's and I was..I already told him I was getting him on Thursday because he had a game last night...of course H said I did not tell him that...I just did on Sunday....aaguugghhh...he's crazy...I'm thinking I'm crazy. he said, I won't make it to his game I'm working..blah, blah, blah....I said, " can you by chance take S11 for me on Friday night"..."NO, I'm leaving on my vacation"...WTF?... I said, thanks for rubbing that in....he said I was just telling you I won't be home....I said, you know it hurts me that's why you do it....but it's okay...my rewards for all I do are the children...and I let it go....i did shed a few tears but only a few....my heart did drop at the thought of them getting to go camping for a week while I stay home with all the responsibilities....but it's okay...I'm with my Son and he is a joy to be around...

So, I went to the game....HE SHOWS UP....really made my stomach turn....walked right past me, didn't even look at me, and right to the dugout to see son, so son could see that he was there....the only reason he was, was because I probably made him feel bad..H stayed by the dugout the entire game...off to the side so he couldn't see me and I couldn't look at him...it was fine with me though...after the game I gathered son and left...

This morning I woke and I felt so sad....I started crying and couldnt stop....we used to do family vacations, now he going to do them on his own with OW....I cant get them out of my head, even though I know they don't deserve the space....Help me mom....did you ever feel this way? How can he be so happy with her...ML in the woods, that would be so wonderful...
Ok, so I need to get that he's not in love with me anymore...I need to move on, but the thoughts of what we used to do keep sneaking in and screwing with my head....no wonder my head has been pounding....

Happy Easter MOM!!