I am willing to bet that at one time or another, the burden wasnt shared between you equally. Things change, sometimes hes carrying 85% of it and you carry 15%, sometimes you carry 98% of it and he can only carry 2% of it.
Whats so wrong with that? I think that you are moving in a positive direction, but there are always difficulties and setbacks. Can you tell him how important it is to you that he remember to wear his ring? "After what happened last year, it really makes me sad/anxious/nervous/hurt/worried when you forget your ring."
And yes, they can heal, but only if both partners can get to a place where they can both try to make it work. Maybe he isnt quite there yet, but it does sound like he is starting to try. Maybe he is still grieving for the ending of the affair. Disgusting, I know, but it does happen. And if he can really come to understand what he did to you he will never want to hurt you, or your family like that again.
Its always worth it, and you can know that you are doing the right thing, as long as you always do the right thing you will never have to answer to anyone but yourself.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
