Well after reading the DB book a second time, i really put some effort into what i was doing, moping, watching the phone, crying im sure you all know. Well, it hit me like a ton of bricks, i lived a pretty happy succesful life before i got married, i realized that i could live without her. My mood has lifted right away. I mean i still feel the pangs of sadness but i refuse to let that define my life now. She hasnt looked into divorce at all, not a lawyer nothing. Now she let slip some info this afternoon when i talked to her. Her family is very much against us reconciling, especially her dad, who she would do anything for. She mistook what we were discussing as R talk, so i levelled things out by saying "what was is now gone, and im ok with it." I also let her know that i HAVE looked into the D, and that i have my attourney on standby.

I think saving my marriage is the wrong phrase, i want a do over, because we had gotten so stagnant in our lives and routines.

Im sure i still have some rough days ahead, but im in control of me again.

I was teasing her a little bit playfully and she was responsive to it. Also she asked me to call the phone co to push the due date back on the bill, maybe a mistake but i told her i would if she would go on a date with me, she said maybe..

I think you are right portland dad, she is on the fence. She has a lot to consider, and i do want her to find herself again. Her family though.. they are tough.

thanks again everyone, this is a brilliant resource.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.