Given the circumstances and the fact that your W is aware that this is important to you, I would hope that she wouldn't make empty promises in this area.
If nothing happens or if she rejects your advances, I would see nothing wrong with you *lovingly* mentioning your disappointment because you were so excited that she was interested earlier.
I would not recommend that you temper your enthusiasm or excitement. You have good reason to be delighted. Trying to suppress your excitement wouldn't be authentic. And, a good mood is always beneficial as you approach your encounter.
Even if she doesn't come through, she did "initiate," so there is still something to be happy about.
Whatever she has in store for you, I would not expect anything in particular and just let her lead... for a while anyway. Just be ready and willing!
Without going into too much detail, she was completely unselfish and it was like nothing I have experienced with her before.
Note to self: don't rush her and don't talk about it.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
Congrat's mike, on a toot my own horn note, my wife's b-day is tonight and the kids are gone, i suggested dinner and a movie, and she said lets go straight home after dinner, so she does not get tired in the movie and mess up our "love night" her words, wow, that has been a long time.
Back to you though, great to hear, breakthrough moment maybe?
Perhaps so. She got really turned on, so I am interested to see if she enjoyed herself enough to do it again sometime.
It seems that the more we do things, the more her drive is coming back. Our R outside the bedroom continues to improve also, which I am sure is helping.
I need to keep pushing myself to be a better man.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
Sorry I haven't been around lately, I have been away on vacation, plus I am busy taking care of some financial stuff that has been neglected for a while.
Things have been going well. We ML again on Saturday. W has even offered to take care of me on her "week off", but we shall see if that actually comes to fruition.
Ah, not much to report other than that. She never did read SSM, or anything for that matter. Even though she is responding to me finally telling her this is something I need, it would still help for her to hear it from someone else besides me.
Still trying to stay focused on being a better man, but I admit I do get comfortable at times. Staying up late is my worst enemy. There is just too much to do when I finally have some time to myself, and not enough minutes to do it all.
How are you lately?
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
Sometimes it's easier to just get back into our old grooves. Going to bed late is NOT GOING TO GET YOU LAID by the way... Always go to bed with your wife so that you can spend time wrapping up the day with love, even if it's just hugging and telling her you love her. That will help build your connection!
Have you had any dates lately?
I'm afraid to post anything about my sitch because I'm terrified that I might jinx it. We are really making progress. I have to admit that I have been pushing even harder lately and trying to break old stale patterns by shaking things up when I would normally sit quiet and wait. I realize that we have a pattern of 1) I initiate a discussion that seems productive and positive, 2) he initiates sex in the next day or two, 3)sizzlefritz, crickets, I sit and wait, not wanting to nag/mother, 4) I stew and get ready for the next discussion. Now, instead of sitting and waiting, I'm making playful, strongly suggestive, almost demanding "come hither"/"give me some luvin'" remarks. We seem to be in a growth spurt. I'm so excited, yet I'm terrified that it might not stick. I just can't let it happen! Too early to tell if we really have reached the next level. Thanks for asking -- It felt good to write that out.
Glad to hear things going relatively well for both of you, I never ever let my wife go to bed without me, unless she is sick or so tired she goes up right after dinner, the eternal optimist I am.
Wow major bump...just posting Cinco's message from his thread, since it is exactly the motivation I need to keep working on things.
Quote:
Spellfire no need to ever worry about a hijack I'm always happy to help anyone where I can.
For us some of the changes came when I spoke to her about "choosing her". Many times Mrs Cinco would complain that it didn't matter to me who I was with as along as I was having sex. This, I had to explain, was not true. When I first met her, and as we got to know each other, I made the decision that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I chose her.
"You are the one I wanted to get to know on a deep level. This was no fling for me. You are my true love. My choice is to be here with you, if it wasn't I would not still be here. My choosing you however is not enough. I want to feel chosen by you as well. I need to feel your love and affection for me in a physical way."
Slowly... very slowly she has reawakened that part of herself that wants me. Our ST/MC has helped her a lot with this too. Reading DB, SSM and PM have helped as well. Once she realized that I wanted HER, not just sex from her, the shift began to occur.
Another difference is in the way that we ML. There is no rush anymore, we might spend an hour or more touching and kissing. Also we ML about 1-2 times a week. In between ML though we still show affection with kisses, hugs and snuggling at night. Touching each other without it leading to sex. Sometimes there is no intention of sex and then it just happens anyway. It has helped to leave the possibility open with no certainty of it happening.
Of course there are still nights (or days) when we know we will ML, but it doesn't have to.
I hope this helps you spellfire.
Cinco
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
