Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[kjensen]

Good Morning D, Mach and SoCo,
I hadn't figured out how to show forgiveness yet. I like Mach's list-definitely a good place to start.

I guess my thinking was: If I'm not talking about the R/A or OW, then most of our conversations are kept"light" as H would say.. Listening with an open heart and mind were primary actions I thought I should do daily, as the occasion arose.
I feel like in many ways I have been showing forgiveness by not asking questions, demanding to know anything...by being pleasant and not giving off a hurt/angry vibe.
I have definitely been supportive and appreciative of all of H's efforts regarding keeping contact with me. I've been supportive of his move out, starting antidepressants(he is usually anti- anthing to do with medication), starting therapy and helped him find his apartment(he hasn't included me in the quest for bigger space..)

I realize some of those actions bordered on rescuing, so I'm watching what I do and will most likely be supportive in words only in the future.

The obstacle I think will be the filter through which H currently sees the world and my actions. he truly is not in the same reality as me, at times. I don't know how my actions will change that but I guess I was hopeful with time, patience, consistency in word and action, antidepressants and therapy my H will come back to same reality we all reside in...

I did order a book today by Janis Abrams Springs that my therapist recommended...How can I Forgive you...hopefully some good ideas in there too.

Mach you are funny!