Just journaling. Got a call from the wife earlier this evening. She called to see how my day was and apologized for not being able to go to the gym with me. We talked about tomorrow night as she is coming over to watch a movie. I'm hoping she is trying to work her way back into our lives. I really, really miss her. Hope she is thinking about us.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Saw the wife this morning at the gym. VERY pleasant to me, very pleasant. She told me I looked and smelled good. She asked me if I had been asked out yet? Nope, you? She said she had. I said by whom? She said some fat Peuto Rican? She said she declined of course. I did not react either way. She leaned in for a kiss and said she missed me. Now, I pursued a bit after this. We went out to her car and talked for a few minutes. She told me a little about work, blah, blah, blah. Then I asked her if she was still considering moving back home. She said she was conflicted. She likes having her space and not having to pick up if she doesn't want to and if she makes a mess, it's hers and no one bitches at her, etc. I told her that stuff wasn't that important to me anymore--keeping the house spotless, etc and my priorities had shifted. She said she didn't think I had changed and I said well you haven't really lived with me for almost a year now. She said yeah, that's true but it's not just about you. She asked if she could bring anything tonight for our movie night. I offered to cook dinner and she accepted. So, my goal tonight is to put on my best 180 and not focus on the stupid stuff I focused on before and just try to have a nice relaxing evening. She leaned in for another kiss before I got out of the car and said she missed me. I AM NOT going to get my hopes way up again as it still seems like she is way conflicted and confused. I will be hoping and praying today that tonight goes well and that she comes to her senses before it is too late.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Rooting for you, remember, no R talk unless she brings it up, just make her see how fun it would be to be home again. Nice relaxing atmosphere, what are you going to watch? Chick flick?
By the way, maybe you should not do the dishes or clean up at all tonight, let it sit until she leaves or the next morning, show her that stuff does not bother you but do not bring it up, just let her see it.
What do you DB experts recommend regarding sex for AFWAW and Mrs. AFWAW? Is it OK to go there? Seems to me like she's opening the door with her kisses and "missing you" comments and noting that there isn't any action out there for her. Watching a movie and making dinner at home is the perfect setting.
Partly curious and partly want AFWAW to get some prep for handling that area.
Wish you well, AFWAW. I've been following your story, and I'm rooting for you!
I would not jump on her, but I would go with it, if she made the first move, and from the looks of it, she probably will. I am all for it, if it goes down like that.
But I would not bring up the R at all afterward if indeed she goes through it, just let it go and have her know (without telling her) that there is no pressure there at all, all good, happy, fun times, just like when they started dating or first married.
Based on experience (see my sitch), be very cagey if/when she initiates R talk. Remember those old videos from back in the day they used to show us about OPSEC with the clever Russkies prying information out of the hapless airman drinking in a little pinte down the road from Rhein-Main? Non-committal answers. Vague vague vague. If the R statement has 10 words, reply with 3.
SP, You're making me nostalgic for those old USAFE videos!
AF, Not sure how this turned into a discussion on sex, but... as a typical male who is responding to someone that you have feelings, history, and attraction for...
I'd hit it.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
From my POV I have some concerns about this. In my sitch WAW has recently been giving what MIGHT be interpreted as "I'm into you 'that way'" signals -- body language, for example, initiating frank sex talks, etc.
While I agree with Portland -- c'mon, this is sex we're talking about -- I have a lingering fear of facilitating and even encouraging cake-eating, AF. If she can "tap it" without needing to worry about consequences -- like abandoning her chosen course of action -- are you scratching the itch to your own detriment?
LOL, you guys are hilarious! Am I missing something? I want her to come home for good! Do you guys really think based on what I've written that my wife wants to have sex? I hope so. They say that's one of the "big" steps to rekindling a relationship. We'll see. I don't want to get my hopes up again only to have them stomped on and crushed. It has taken me a while to get over the initial shock and I really don't want to go back to crying myself to sleep at night.
So, I'm hoping for a very pleasant evening and praying that the wife will come to her senses very, very quickly. I should find out if I made rank the first week in May. After that, it's going to get tricky as to what happens. Thanks for all your optimism! I hope you guys are right.
Last edited by AFWAW; 04/10/0905:22 PM.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
AFWAW says: Saw the wife this morning at the gym. VERY pleasant to me, very pleasant. She told me I looked and smelled good. She asked me if I had been asked out yet? Nope, you? She said she had. I said by whom? She said some fat Peuto Rican? She said she declined of course. I did not react either way. She leaned in for a kiss and said she missed me. Now, I pursued a bit after this. We went out to her car and talked for a few minutes. She told me a little about work, blah, blah, blah. Then I asked her if she was still considering moving back home. She said she was conflicted. She likes having her space and not having to pick up if she doesn't want to and if she makes a mess, it's hers and no one bitches at her, etc. I told her that stuff wasn't that important to me anymore--keeping the house spotless, etc and my priorities had shifted. She said she didn't think I had changed and I said well you haven't really lived with me for almost a year now. She said yeah, that's true but it's not just about you. She asked if she could bring anything tonight for our movie night. I offered to cook dinner and she accepted. So, my goal tonight is to put on my best 180 and not focus on the stupid stuff I focused on before and just try to have a nice relaxing evening. She leaned in for another kiss before I got out of the car and said she missed me.
If you guys on this thread don't think that she's giving clues that she is willing to be taken... well... that makes me fear that there have been many missed opportunities in your marriages.
Women typically want to be pursued. If we aren't being pursued, we try to put a little something out there... a little tap on the shoulder... in hopes that you'll get the idea and come forward on your horse (cowboy), or ship (pirate), or wooly mammoth (caveman).
I hope tonight is fantastic, AFWAW. Of course, try to temper the desire to think too much about what it means. It could just mean that she's in the mood for some fun. It could mean that she wants to see if you two can connect again. She may not be thinking too much about what it means at all. She might change her mind or her mood might be dampened once she's in the home setting with all of the reminders around. Who knows...
I say be ready for anything, but don't assume anything, and be sure to read her mood before making any moves.
