WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[antlers]

One other thing she talked about is that she is still hurt and angry.

I think we expect them to get over their hurt and anger a lot sooner than they are able to!

I know that but it has been almost 3 months. I'm would have guessed it would have eased somewhat. I guess the weekly counseling of rehashing the past just kept it going. I also know when I backslide when we talk sbout the parenting agreement and divorce related issues, we would wind up talking about the past hurts so that didn't allow her to heal either

I truly hope the seperation will give her the time and sapce to heal so we can be together again. It has been so long, even before the bomb, but I just didn't notice. I was so distracted about kids, work, and house that I lost my best friend along the way

I hope I our paths lead back together again. I miss her already.

I will be strong. I will survive and thrive. For me. For my boys. Hopefully for my wife.

My wife said she was unhappy and hurt "for years". They don't get over that in 3 or 4 months! It takes a lot longer than that. Look at what some of the WAW's have said on these boards, especially some that have reconciled with their husbands...it's a lot longer than 'we' want it to be. They can't really start dealing with it all until they are away from us. Then they start to process it...TONS of emotions. In our case, my wife's anger and rage are full bore right now. Her first night in her new place was Feb. 22nd. They have to deal with a lot of other stuff after they move out before they can start this processing too (logistics, utilities, etc.). My wife's anger and rage at me increased as time has gone by. I've been told that the abcess is draining now, and that pus has to drain out for a while before the thing can start to heal. I'm seeing the pus draining out right now. Who knows how long it will take? Everybody is different. But I do know that it takes a lot longer than we think it should. That's why DB talks about PATIENCE so much. I think the separation will give our wives time and space to start healing. I hope our paths lead back together again too. I wish the same for you.