Last weekend, we argued about some stuff and he said he wanted out, "I don't want to be married anymore." He said it serveral times, I said "Ok, I'm out of your life, we'll just deal with S as we need to." But he never agreed that he wanted me out of his life.
This week has been ok.
Yesterday, I was going to stay at our house with him to make sure all was well with a medical procedure he had done (all is well) plus S was asking about him. So he was cool when I told him we were going to be staying there.
I did a half day yesterday to help him out a bit. I went and picked up lunch for him because he hadn't eaten in more than 24 hours.
I was there with him, we were talking, and he was sort of weird. I asked him "Do you not want us to stay here?" Getting to the point, he says "I just don't think it's a good idea, I don't want to give you the wrong impression." (We are planning a trip the last weekend in April, with the friends I'm staying with.) I said "OK, thanks for being honest. But what kind of impression does the trip with our friends give me?" He said that's different, they really want to go. I reply, "No they don't. They could not care less. If you want, take your money and go with the husband and do something. Wife and I will find something else to do." He said nothing.
So the long and short of the conversation, he brings is up and said something about how I need to let all the stupid ex-OW go. I told him, Nope H, you do bc I have. Then I put it out there: "If you need to go chase this stupid little girl, go do it. I'm out, you can have freedom like a single man. But you better start telling everyone we are already divorced. Otherwise I insist you act like the married man that you are."
"I have no interest in that stupid little girl. You have no idea what I'm doing or what I say to her."
I didn't ask for clarification about that. I left it alone.
He said something, don't quite remember what and I explained my opinion about this person to him, which he completely agreed with me about--none of it positive. (Keep in mind from previous posts, the ex-OW called me and said all the time, "you can save your marriage, I know he loves you." This while continously calling him, trying to get him to say he loves her--which he swears he never did.) WTH??
I told him he can no longer have the best of both worlds. He wanted to know what that meant. I said: From now on, you tell her to go pick up the Master's gambling pool money for you because you're having a procedure done. You tell her to pick up your lunch today because you can't walk around, you tell her to meet your parents here on Saturday while you're off playing golf in Georgia. You get her to cover your a$$ for you. I'm done."
He says again, he has no interest in any of that and her and says let it go. I said "Believe me, I am. But here's what you don't get. I signed up for this stuff. When I got married, I took my vows seriously and doing this stuff for you....this is what I signed up for. As much as I can b***h, I have never bitched about helping you when you needed me. I love it. This is what I want to do, when I can do it."
Well that seemed to piss him off. He said "You need to leave now." I explained to him, he can't kick me out of my house where I pay half of everything. Maybe I'm wrong, but that was the first glimpse I've gotten he might be ashamed of how he's acted.
Finally I told him: "If there is not one part of you that believes in a new relationship, a new marriage with a new H and a new W, then say so. I'm out of your life forever. This great "not married" life you are so sure is out there, go get it. I'm not hanging around while you find yourself."
His response: "IF the ball buster, the lawyer and the investigator can go away, then maybe, maybe we have a chance." (He says I'm all three)
I said "Great. I'm leaving."
He stood up and gave me a big kiss and hug. I asked, "Was that so bleeping difficult?"
So who knows? We had a great night--he came over for dinner where we are staying and he joked, "I like you better when you aren't talking!" I said "OMG!! I was just about to say the same thing to you!"
We'll see. I just don't know what to think. So I think I'm taking a break here with the thinking.
