No, having a significant other is not co-dependence.
However, it seems to me that you are very co-dependent. You are still making your life about XH and XBF in very unhealthy ways. You acted very co-dependent in your M.
I don't really have any advice for you other than to continue to seek help. Al-anon would be a great place to start. If you aren't comfortable after you start going, someone would probably know of another co-dependent support group of some kind in your area. At least al-anon is free, meets at night, easily accessible, and of great potential benefit to you.
To be blunt, there is the same kind of denial/resistance/nay-saying/poor-me-victim stuff going on in your posts now as there was when you were posting before.
You are stuck. You need to work on yourself. D didn't fix you (told you so). You don't have a BF at the moment to blame for your unhappiness. So maybe now you will work harder on yourself and your own issues from your childhood that are damning your current Rs.
