Need Help handling affair thats still going on

[trampledheart]

Hi kjensen,

I read through your thread today and I though I'm not in any position to give advice, I think it's much easier to see what's going on from an objective point of view (someone else's situation - not mine)...

I think your H is starting to go through what my H had gone through, and now seeing it from hindsight, I wish I had done things differently. When your H asked your mutual friend if he could go camping and bring OW, stating that his own kids weren't interested in going, that is a big sign. My H did similar things. He would tell his family that our D wasn't interested in coming to this or that, when in fact, he never even invited her.

You were also lucky in that you had a mutual friend tell you what your H's plans or thoughts were about what he wants to do - that he sees a future with OW.

With this information from your mutual friend and behavior (camping), I'm worried what more he will do... My H had done so much damage to our family and I would hate to see you go through what I had. If I had a chance to do things over, I think I would do as 25yearsmlc had stated. It would save you a lot of pain and heartache. I know that it seems harsh and maybe you can't see having to take such drastic measures, but maybe taking the stance she had suggested would not be a bad idea. It would give him less time to get his things in order, less time for him to get himself set-up to be able to leave completely when he's good and ready. It seems that MLCers lie so much that it becomes second nature. It seems they really don't care about anyone but themselves. If you H is not sharing with you, the things you already know, then maybe he's compartmentalizing his life (living a dual life), having different "realities" depending on who he is talking to... Almost like how we give only certain information of our lives to friends at work, yet we're still "friends"...

I may be wrong, but maybe you should re-read 25yearsmlc's posts.

Take care, and thanks for posting on my thread and advising me...