"are you happier now?"

[sage]

that's how I feel when h starts giving...what's this..he's calling me...what's this...he's giving me a hug...what's this...he's asking me to go out...what's this..he's making plans for dinner for tommorow night? what's this...he's thinking of me...what's this????

Is it "what's this...what a jerk he is for doing this now"? or "what is this...I don't recognize this niceness and love"? or something entirely different?

I hate the fact that this always seems to come about with me getting so fed up that I just give up and retreat to doing my own thing...reside to having a roomate with no interest...

maybe it isn't that you get so "fed up" ll...maybe it's that when you retreat you give him room to try some things out...? make some overtures of his own?

I wonder how many times we can go through this cycle before that alien mind of a waw takes over me...

You can stop the cycle I think...it takes two (I think) to perpetuate it.

I wonder how to get the cycle to stop...

I wonder how to show h that if he gives a little he'll get a lot...

He IS giving a little (a lot?) ... he's asked you to do stuff a couple of times in the last few weeks..what you've been hoping for, right???

What is different about what h is actually DOING vs what you want him to do?? because it seems (in quotes) that he's doing what you're asking for....are you upping the ante????

sage