Quote: The recommendation the book has is to focus on yourself, including your first family, your own value career, your own value system, and learn to express them in a calm and non-judgemental way, while sharing your own vulnerability. The feeling of emotional intimacy in your R would come after that without focusing on your R.
chuck,
does that mean that my focus should be on my family of origin as my first family? or my current family (h and kiddos) as my first family...my new nuclear family?
it's all so damn confusing...
when I get upset about my family of origin..h tells me to look to and focus on the family that we have...
that was doable at one time...
I have stated before that once (before dd was born but waiting) that after a phone call with mom about a holiday and my inviting dad...I stated to h clearly and exaclty "no matter how bad things get let's promise never to d"...then though I knew h and I were distant (probably not much more so than now but then again I get so lost and confused at times that I can't even tell) but I didn't know of his secret life and thoughts of leaving this family.
I don't know wich to focus on...
I wish that I could look at my current family to keep me from going down that dark tunnel of despair at the lost family...but now part of this family has been lost..and could be lost again...
