Sitting, waiting, wishing... #60

[AliSuddenly]

Hey M.. sending you a hug.. you ok? You do sound hurt and kind of a little mad today (diappointed I guess).. I dont blame you.. as we say in the UK.. your H is 'taking the p*ss'.

So if you never get a response from your emails... an you just phone him???

[Kalni]

Good Morning,
the weather is better. No clouds but still very "cloudy" here. H has been calling me about our son's appointment to the dentist (he took him because he has both kids under his insurance) and he clearly has NO idea about the emails. Maybe later. Or I will call him later and tell him to check them out.

The person I had connection to that worked in OW's office called our mutual friend and asked how me & H are doing beacuse :"OW has been single for a while". Yeah, OK. Whatever...

Other than that, I am ok. Took my kids out again last afternoon, I am taking out again today. Life needs some fun and my kids are so cute and fun to be with. My son latest desire is that to go to NY Natural History Museum because we saw on their site they have "sleep over nights". Thank God he is not allowed yet, he has to be 8. I think that I will take to NY in October... It will be a great birthday present.
xxx
K

[mishka422]

OMG! Sleep over nights? My son would freak out! Surrounded by that many dinosaurs and fossils he would think he had died and gone to heaven. I guess they're playing on "Night at the Museum". Good idea.

Enjoy your kids K! They're only little for a very short amount of time.

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((((Kalni))))))))

I hear Arizona is really nice in October.....

[AliSuddenly]

OOOHHH !! I want to go do a sleepover with dinosaurs !!! How cool is that?? Why do little kids get all the fun !? I'm small.. I would curl up and sleep in the jaws of a T Rex..

Ahh. NY in October hey? Yeah.. September is our limit. End of the line. Time to disembark.

Take care tommorow... I hope H steps up at least then.
xxx

[RefuseToLose]

Originally Posted By: AliSuddenly
I dont think he's working for money.. it feeds his soul, for some reason (nope, dont get it).

I totally concur.

I also don't get it.

But it makes him feel successful, it ties in to his self-esteem somehow.

This is the key. You may say he's "simple" but he's "married" to work and not you. That isn't simple and that isn't right.

Something about work feeds his self-esteem and makes him feel like a man. I'm confident this is something that is deep-rooted in his upbringing b/c almost all "work-a-holics" are this way in order to change the past.

As long as H values work over you, there is no hope for your M. I know the "money" thing and the need to work in this economy, but two people together on the same page can accomplish anything they choose. However, both must be on the same page for it to work.

There are several changes that could occur to make your M work, but H will not consider any of them. I hate to repeat it, but as long as he loves work more than you and your family, you are spinning your wheels w/him.

His IC should eventually allow him to unearth the reasons behind his insatiable need to work, but you may not be willing to wait out the results.

H has to choose. It is plain and simple to me what his decision should be, as I've lost a family and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

RTL

[BobbiJo]

I found that post very insightful. I know my H talks about his childhood as being very painful as they had very little money. Neither parent went to college, both had jobs that paid by the hour, he was on free/reduced lunch, etc. So now he has a high-salary, upscale job making lots of money with the perks that come with it. And he won't settle for less, I have told him I would live in a small house with simple pleasures if it meant having our family intact and content. But he wouldn't be content without the security financially...

Sorry to hijack, I can just see where this is coming from. Wonder if your H has some 'demons' in his background that drive him to work so much??

My son would absolutely love the museum overnight trip, too bad he is only six!

[Kalni]

Hi guys,
H's childhood was not "a poor" one. His family didnt have much money back then, but all they had they spent. They were not into "saving" mode or anything or "creating" things. Big difference with what my parents did. Which was a reason I liked his family so much. Maybe not so much anymore

I asked H if we could meet today to go shopping since I stayed home. He said not in the morning and when he called me I realised he was sleeping in the morning!! We went shopping for roughly 1,5 hours for our godkids, we exchanged no personal words and he left and I was feeling even further away from him. There is absolutely NO connection. I dont care why anymore. It isnt there. Maybe I need to look at things realistically and not romantically in the sense of "love is a decision and can work". Love needs two and I dont think there is even half of a person in our "R".

I asked him about Easter he said he works until Friday (next week for us). While we were in the car my friend from out of town called and she asked why dont I take the kids and visit. I told her I might just do that.. When he heard me he said "why dont WE go Friday after I finish together?". I replied I am not taking the kids there for half a day, IF I go I will make my own schedule and probably leave Thursday. He didndt like the fact that I am not planning according to his work (tough luck sugar!) but what I can do? It sucks to be him .

When he left I called and asked him if he had seen my emails, he said no, he would check his account when at the office. That was 6 hours ago and still no message or call.

GOOD NEWS: My dad's oncoligist said the tests are not that bad, he actually said they are pretty good and that the "x-ray" doctor didnt have the whole picture, He is within the normal range and NO chemo for him!! He will redo the tests in 3 months. My dad looked as if he had just gotten pardon from the governor of Texas. He was so happy and relieved. We are taking privately to the doctor to see what exactly is going on.

I am loosing weight and feeling better about myself. Not much, but I am, slowly. I feel energy coming back to me. I am still working on my finances and although still bad, looks better so I bought another purse today, not an expensive one but a summer cool one!!!

My kids look and feel better cause their mom feels better. I am going back to basics, taking care of me and looking inwards to find balance and happiness. H has one LAST chance to follow. But, I have to confess I am becoming selfish and the more selfish I become, the "smaller" he looks. Btw, Ali asked me and I thought I would mention it. We have been having NO sex.

My "plan" at work the other day went fine. I really need to change depts and somehow I feel things are about to change in our company and I must not miss "the momentum". I am keeping me eyes open and my skirts tight, LOL!!! (not my style but maybe I will revisit that).

So, that's all. Had a lot to report today. We had lovely weather today, very hot!!
xxx
K

[MichelleLT]

I say go.

Tell him that you would like him to go, but that you can't work around his work schedule for this and if he wants he can join you guys on Friday.

Glad you are feeling better! Glad your diet is working too!

GL with work.

And NO sex sucks. You'd think he would be complaining about that instead of working lol.

[mishka422]

Wonderful news about your dad K!!! I'm sure that is a relief for you to know that he doesn't have to go through the pain and illness of chemo again now.

Boy, that man of yours is missing out on one HOT lady! His loss. He has to want to make you a priority but he can't seem to do that. He is definitely broken K, shattered. He needs superglue!

October in New York......lovely! All the fall colors in the park, the swirling wind between the buildings.....awesome! I love New York and I've only been there once. I need to get back there soon. Marc would love it.

Awesome that the diet is working. What exactly have you been doing? I'm trying to get some tips together to change things up because I'm totally stagnated and need to shift my plan. Let me know.

GL with work! This economy is messing everything up for everyone. Make sure that whatever you do, it will be as stable as possible.

IMO - Go to your friend's and tell H he can come and join you all if he would like. The end. Take it or leave it buddy. Hasta luego!