Quoting poepad: Lucy, This is one I can help you on, during our couseling at the 5 year mark, we explain to the couseler that we argue over pennies spent.
The couselor's solution was simple. Each person gets so much a pay, say $50.00 each in your case and that money cannot be questioned. Does not matter is the others buys $50 of ice cream.
Next we had to ask permission of the other spouse for not normal purchases of $20.00 or more.
And finally, all recepts where placed in a box and a monthly ledger was filled in. This reduced money arguments to nill.
poe,
we do not argue over money..and there will never come a time when I know what h does with all his money or have a say in how he spends his money...
he is a business owner and therefore has access to "other" money outside of "our" household budget.
fair?? probably not...
but...
I have a credit card... the atm card... etc....
I can go to walmart or wheverever and purchase clothing for the children or odds and ends of small amounts for the house without much question...h has never accused me of being a shopoholic has only on occassion asked that I try to keep the spending down a bit to catch up.
we carry no credit card balance...and that is how h likes to keep it.
when it comes to major purchases for the house...when they occur is at h's discretion...does that bother me??? well only if I want something for the house and I'm told "in time" is it hugely important??? no.
if I withraw 60 bucks from the atm to go out with my friends does h question what I did with the cash since that is not "traceable" via credit card?? no.
it is more about me wanting to have my own money just like he has his "other" money...
money that I can spend and know that I wont be questioned about or commented at for because it's MY money to spend however I want...if I want to use it to buy him a gift well then I bought the gift..if I want to buy something for the house that I want well then I can...
that's all it is...a bit of independence seeking is all I suppose it's something that should have existed from the begining of our m but I didn't think anything of it back then..but now that I don't actually bring in any pay it all feels like HIS money...and even though this "pay" would come from him...it is earned...maybe I'd start doing his laundry again.
