Hi guys, H's childhood was not "a poor" one. His family didnt have much money back then, but all they had they spent. They were not into "saving" mode or anything or "creating" things. Big difference with what my parents did. Which was a reason I liked his family so much. Maybe not so much anymore
I asked H if we could meet today to go shopping since I stayed home. He said not in the morning and when he called me I realised he was sleeping in the morning!! We went shopping for roughly 1,5 hours for our godkids, we exchanged no personal words and he left and I was feeling even further away from him. There is absolutely NO connection. I dont care why anymore. It isnt there. Maybe I need to look at things realistically and not romantically in the sense of "love is a decision and can work". Love needs two and I dont think there is even half of a person in our "R".
I asked him about Easter he said he works until Friday (next week for us). While we were in the car my friend from out of town called and she asked why dont I take the kids and visit. I told her I might just do that.. When he heard me he said "why dont WE go Friday after I finish together?". I replied I am not taking the kids there for half a day, IF I go I will make my own schedule and probably leave Thursday. He didndt like the fact that I am not planning according to his work (tough luck sugar!) but what I can do? It sucks to be him .
When he left I called and asked him if he had seen my emails, he said no, he would check his account when at the office. That was 6 hours ago and still no message or call.
GOOD NEWS: My dad's oncoligist said the tests are not that bad, he actually said they are pretty good and that the "x-ray" doctor didnt have the whole picture, He is within the normal range and NO chemo for him!! He will redo the tests in 3 months. My dad looked as if he had just gotten pardon from the governor of Texas. He was so happy and relieved. We are taking privately to the doctor to see what exactly is going on.
I am loosing weight and feeling better about myself. Not much, but I am, slowly. I feel energy coming back to me. I am still working on my finances and although still bad, looks better so I bought another purse today, not an expensive one but a summer cool one!!!
My kids look and feel better cause their mom feels better. I am going back to basics, taking care of me and looking inwards to find balance and happiness. H has one LAST chance to follow. But, I have to confess I am becoming selfish and the more selfish I become, the "smaller" he looks. Btw, Ali asked me and I thought I would mention it. We have been having NO sex.
My "plan" at work the other day went fine. I really need to change depts and somehow I feel things are about to change in our company and I must not miss "the momentum". I am keeping me eyes open and my skirts tight, LOL!!! (not my style but maybe I will revisit that).
So, that's all. Had a lot to report today. We had lovely weather today, very hot!! xxx K
