Permission to have affair?

[I tried hard]

Rick, your wife said the exact thing mine did regarding counseling.
The affair I am currently dealing with I discovered 5 days ago. It took 2 days (or rather a year) to come to realize there was nothing I could do. I've tried for a year with some success after 6 months. something turned sour in her 2 months ago. Maybe she noticed #3. So I'm doing a 180. We are in the process of finding her a place. Exploring divorce. Dont get me wrong, this isnt a final chapter with her. I'm just taking care of me because so much effort had been put into saving the marriage. If at some point she wants to explore a relationship with me she can. Only after a period of time for me to heal and for her to reflect on her mistakes and not just mine.