Never thought I would get here, but it's happening. My wife is seeing someone from work. Apparently the same guy she had an EA with a year ago.
Here is the thing. She is telling me that she is just using him. She needs to get the affair out or her system. She is asking me to just give her some time to be free and that she will be back.
She wants to separate for about six months and that after that she is 80% sure she will want to come back. She says it's just something she has to do. We were married very young (18) and she feels she just needs to feel that "new love" feeling one more time. After that, she says I will have her for the rest of her life.
This is blowing me away. It's like premeditated murder. She knows all the pain it will cause me and my family (we have a son) and yet she can't stop herself. In a weird way, I would feel better if she was telling me it's over and that she's in love with someone else and she's leaving me for him. At least that would make sense. But, I'm going to come back, just give me time. This just seems cold and illogical.
My first instinct is to tell her to leave and don't come back. But isn't this whole divorce busting thing about saving your marriage /family. If this will fix the situation and in the end I will have my wife/family back then shouldn't I just let her do it. I guess I shouldn't say let her, she's going to do it anyway. But, by indicating in any way that I will wait for her, am I not giving her permission to do it?
