I know what you mean about not knowing HOW to trust again. I tried so hard and couldn't until it was too late. But, that played a big role in why my R never truly healed. I don't know exactly why the shift happened for me as it did. I just hope you can make the shift sooner
I think, at bottom, it has something to do with the idea that my choice to trust him (post bomb) was a risk I was willing to take for my own reasons. And, I finally got that if he betrayed that trust, it was about him, not about me. It didn't mean that I was a stupid person, a door mat, a desparate person with no self-esteem. On the contrary, I chose to take the risk for the best reasons, I did the right thing, It was he that didn't. Before, the breach of trust was not only hard R-wise, but personally. I felt like sh*t about myself beyond the heartbreak of the R stuff. But now, hey, I'm a good person, with a good heart, who tried my best, who is willing to take a risk on someone. Yay! People will always let you down, sadly enough, but we let ourselves down if we let this keep us from putting ourselves out there...
