You sound very strong and introspective about your current M situation and I applaud you.
In some ways, I have taken the same position you did. While I remain vigilant and watchful for the "hidden agenda" in my Hs words and deeds, I have actually told him that THIS TIME if he's lying, or being deceptive, the ONLY ONE he's really lying to is himself because I'm not going to be in the "You've been conned again" loop anymore. I've told him that I am not taking what he says on face value, I am looking for action/proof that what he is saying and doing now are REAL. BUT, the truth is, that if I were to find out he was continuing to deceive me and has just become an all time pro at it, I will be devestated if the reality of that comes to light.
I don't want to look over my shoulder, read into everything he says for double meanings, second guess his every action or inaction....but that is the fallout of this adulterous hell we've all lived through AND it does fall to them to reassure us that we can begin to feel 'safe' again. JMHO T2
