It is haunting ghost we live with, those bold faced lies, the deception so easily run past us....I know that I 'question' a lot of what my H says, no matter how 'innocent' the statement I find myself LOOKING for the hidden agenda behind it.
All the second quessing we do is our FEAR and our SELF PRESERVATION trying to kick in to keep us from being 'conned' again. It will probably take many months to years to get over those feelings completely.
As an example of my 'craziness' just this morning, the 'bug guy' came to spray all around the outside of the house (we live off the water so spiders are an issue). When I brought him his check, I realized the "bug guy" this time WAS a guy that lived w/H when H was first thrown out. This guy knew about OW etc. My H hasn't told me this guy now works for the bug company OR that he's now living with another of my H's AA buddys. When he began talking to me and I suddenly realized WHO he was, my heart sank, my stomach went into knots and I thought, "How come when my H called to say the bug guy was coming he didn't tell me it would be this guy OR that THIS guy now lives at his other friends house where my H likes to hang out.
Although none of the above makes a hill of beans in my life, it was just another example of my H leaving me out of the loop...keeping the activities of his AA circle of friends "secret" from me. Ugh...
It's all this petty little stuff that adds fuel to the fire. T2
