A new thread, a new outlook.....

[Can it work]

Hi there PM

Welcome back. You've been missed here. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I feel a lot better in myself these days and I definitely have a better PMA. My quest to GAL seems to be bearing fruit too. Basically, I think I have all the ingredients in place to win back my M. Now unfortunately I only have the biggest barrier to overcome. I have to somehow convince my W that getting back together would be the best thing. That's not going to be easy and I imagine is going to take a long time. At the moment I'd say we are just on the first steps to establishing a friendship. That in itself isn't easy because she's bound to be very cautious with me right now. I read somewhere on here that statistically, the second thoughts only start setting in around the 6 month mark if at all. And that's based on a best-case scenario. I still have a lot of work to do between now and then and none of it comes really easy.

I've had Wee Man the last couple of nights and he's been great. Really developing in to a little character. It's still incredibly hard not to see him all the time as you do with your kids though. I'd give anything to be there with him every day and share all his exciting new developments with my W.

I still have my moments where I'm down about everything. I feel I can control them a lot better now though. My patience is still an issue and I'm worried it'll get the better of me again before too long. Unfortunately with DBing, since we're not supposed to have R talks, it's very difficult to measure any discernable progress. I know there's a reason for not having R talks and I understand that reason but I've always been a very result-orientated person. It kills me not to know exactly how well I'm doing. My W is a very stubborn person and for that reason I think she's going to hold on for even longer to this decision she's made even if she decides it possibly wasn't the best one. The worst thing is that I'll never know if that is the case. I often worry that if I'm too successful in GAL that she'll think I've completely moved on and start giving up on me yet again. What I want to know is how to tell my W now or in the future that I'm still interested in making it work without having an R talk. I do want her to know that more than anything I still want my M to work but worry she won't think I do any more.

See? Even in peace, my mind can create conflict. I can but keep on trying though. That's still my main focus.

Kev