hi guys, had a tough night last night for some reason felt really low, had about 3 hrs sleep, going to be tough today at work so i might give myself the afternoon off. not good working with the saws and stuff when your tierd, beacuse ive been really friendly and jumped at everything she asked me to do. how do i start to go dark on her? shall i do it slowly at first so she dosent see through me, she is very clever at reading people and there body language. she called me yesterday beacuse she had a massive argument with a friend and needed support from me, i didnt show to much just a little beacuse if i was cold to her she would of sensed something beacuse ive always stood tall and picked her up when she was mad, sad or angry. i was thinking last night and the last month is almost a complete blur, little things keep coming back to me, stuff she said and so on, my wife will be moving into her rented property in 2 to 3 weeks so that should be a wake up call, at the moment she is with her mum, not rent to pay no bills at all, so i reckon she will certainly struggle, she has no job and even when she does get one the rent and bills will take every penny, she wont have any cash for leisure time. so im going to let her experiance all of this with no help from me, then august im going to take the kids overseas to a place my wife loves going we have been there 4 times, that will totally piss her off. i have a strategy set in place thanks to rob and all of you really, i know it will be hard and i need to understand it will take some time, how long? well i cant answer that. its time for me now and the kids of course but me time. to long ive given everything to my wife my heart my soul and she took my self worth, self respect and dignity. dont get me wrong im really hurting and dying inside but i know i can do this, especially with help from you guys, i couldn't do it without you, so this is day 1, and who knows i could be putting day 365 and still be in the same situation, but one thing is for sure if i can do this i will be a better man for it,
