Hi LL, Just checking in to see how you are, I have been thinking and thinking about your sitch. For some reason it has me hooked (I guess because of similarities to mine). I keep thinking of stuff and wanting to post but never get a chance to be at computer. When kids are not around then H is and he hogs it.
When you say H and you have never been friends this rings a bell with me. My H is just not the friendly type I guess, he does have friends (male friends) who he bonds with over a beer but as for hanging out and chatting with me - I don't think I ever see a more desparate or bored look on someone's face than when I am just there trying to have a friendly chat about nothing much. So I think we need to broaden our lives out LL. In the past people didn't rely so much on their spouses to provide everything in their lives. I think our society has become too closed in (having to drive everywhere, nuclear family etc). So especially women stuck home with the kids NEED their H so much more for company than used to be the case. I think building up our friendship base (both male and female as long as you know where to draw the line) and letting H's get on with being who they want to be within M is the way to go.
As you have already found he comes running when you withdraw, the more you have a life outside of M the happier you will be as LL and the more attractive to him you will be.
On the OW question - she has to go. Maybe you should ask him what he's afraid of by ending her contract. Men hate being told their afraid of something.
take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
