Dropping the rope

[peacetoday]

XH over tonigfht to get kids
He is so angry ..
with me?? I guess..not sure why
he is very depressed.withdrawn..sees the kids briefly then leaves them, even if I am not back yet
Its like he doesnt want to give me any extra time babysitting??he used to..he is only concerned with himself..
I am completely detached, not even giving him a second thought but im pleasant and friendly
I sense we have grown more apart since my dimness and there is no going back now
not unless XH iniaites a change which I do not see
he seems far far into the tunnel..further away now than so far on this journey..I feel I have to ket him go
either he will find his way or not

he isnt asking for my help


this new male friend has been pursing me/ and this is on my mind trying to figure out if I want to do this..I dont want a BF
but
I feel the situation with him is pulling me away from H and I need to leave, so I feel I want to explore it a little more
but I do not feel this friend is right for me in long run
but it is so freeing after being rejected and unloved for 2 years by xh
so im not sure how long this will go on..I sense it is up to me
seeking guidence from God
I sense I am suppose to move on now..maybe this situation is a lesson for both me and friend?

I dont even sense XH has a clue that i have this new male friend pursuing me
XH seems almost dead so unaware of anything else bedies him
I have a hard time even communicating with him at work
seems so weird a we have gotton along well thru most of this
seems harder now thoguh
I am done..I really think i am
peace