I'm listening to the audio version of the book "No more Mr. Nice Guy" -- your description of your H sounds like a classic "Mr. Nice Guy". He sounds like the type called "the avoider". He has few male friends, feels victimized by you, his wife, complains of a lack of sex but doesn't seem to really know how to assert his desires constructively or successfully, has a problem in realizing healthy sex which often leads to unproductive outlets (Internet porn in his case.) He genuinely thinks he is a nice guy but feels put upon by those he wants to help, which in the end is a form of intellectual dishonesty. The avoider seems to bend over backwards for everyone else but his partner.
Am I off on any of these?
I see a lot of these traits in myself, however I know full well that I am selfish and fallible, very much. I know I can be a real insensitive b*stard if I don't watch myself. No, I don't seem to quite fit the pattern myself and yet some of the dynamics are recognizable in my life none the less.
