Quote: it seems to me that h's idea of m is.. man goes to work, pays bills, takes care of the yard, occassionally listens to w talk about life stuff, goes to football games, watches sports, occassionally to keep w happy spends time with her. You forgot scratching.
Quote: I think I'd be happy if h just read or pretended to read the 5ll's or any of the other many books I've got lying around the house that I've mentioned to him. How many times do I need to tell you he will not read, you promised me you would get the audio, I don't think you are serious, cause you ain't trying everything.
Quote: Are you going to go and have a good time? Or are you going to go and resent it because it wasn't on YOUR timeframe, or H is just asking after you hounded him into it?
I have to respond to this one! of course I wont go and resent his waiting so long to ask. I wont take a stance of see I told you so after we enjoy ourselves and feel closer. I will simply say thank you and let the evening show itself for what it is...let him enjoy and see the benifit of making time to spend together. I will do my best to get a babysitter incase he cannot. I will go food shopping and make snacks to bring with us. and if for some reason we cannot get a sitter I will go rent some movies and set up the snacks in the family room after the kids go to bed and treat the evening with the same significance as if we did get out. (and hope that the kids stay in bed)
I don't take an I told you so tone with h when he does act...I do my best not to show any such tone. In fact h's asking me to go to the drive-in stemmed from him asking me where I had gone to the movies sun night and what I saw...I didn't respond with an attitude...I went on line to the drive-in site to see what was playing this weekend with excitement despite the fact that though I have wanted a "date" with h for a long time what I really want to hear from him is ily and I'm sorry for causing all this grief and I'm actively trying to find a productive solution to the customer issue.
I am not "telling" h who he can and can't have as customers...I'm simply letting him know how I feel about her still being a customer.
Quoting poepad: </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> I think I'd be happy if h just read or pretended to read the 5ll's or any of the other many books I've got lying around the house that I've mentioned to him. How many times do I need to tell you he will not read, you promised me you would get the audio, I don't think you are serious, cause you ain't trying everything.
it is not likely that h would listen to a tape either...but if it will make you happy I'll go buy the damn things and give them to him...but alas isn't that again saying to him...look you're not doing a good enough job so here listen to these tapes so you can have someone tell you what you should be doing?????????????????
Quote: t is not likely that h would listen to a tape either...but if it will make you happy I'll go buy the damn things and give them to him...but alas isn't that again saying to him...look you're not doing a good enough job so here listen to these tapes so you can have someone tell you what you should be doing?????????????????
NOW, I can see what you H is dealing with.
Simply ask him to listen to "MEN ARE FORM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS". in his truck while he is running around. Ideally you listen together. Not the whole tape just small chunks at a time.
Present it as these tapes tell the difference between male and female, and it will make it easier to understand me. And you heard from others it is like a like bulb going off. A lot of things get explained. And his life would become easier.
In my case I finally understood why she was saying you are not listening to me. I was not listening I was in my fixer mode. I did not understand all I had to do was listen.
I did not have to fix anything.
I have 2 copies of M/V and I would be glad to send you one at no expense to you. And I would be glad to talk to your H and tell him how simple it is to keep LL happy.
Quote: am I unreasonable or am I simply a woman and h is simply a man???? Lucy, you are the only one with the knowledge to fix this, so give you "50's" thinking H the tools to fix this.
OW-Have you ask H to get rid of OW, and what reason does he give for keeping her.
Quote: OW-Have you ask H to get rid of OW, and what reason does he give for keeping her.
upon first discovery of their "friendship" I asked that she no longer be a customer...that didn't fly.
after seperation when h came home I asked that ow no longer be a customer...that didn't fly...or rather h was considering how to do it...sent out season proposals and one for her house...I questioned...his reasoning...there are three other houses that he works for on the street...if she was planning to sell the house then it would be foolish to drop all of them and then have her not even living there.
well it appears to me that ow's house is no longer for sale...I ask h and his response to getting rid of her is still...not sure (but sways more toward keeping her and the others on the street some justification that it's $ gee h not as much $ as it will cost if this m fails) and gives some other exuse that he calls before he has to go there and she leaves and he is not alone when he goes, oh and as if this is supposed to offer comfort..."there's more of a chance for me to bump into her on (main road) then there is for me to see her at her house" that's comforting isn't it???
ow needs to go. it's humiliating to me and it should be humiliating to h to still work for her.
Quote: ow needs to go. it's humiliating to me and it should be humiliating to h to still work for her. I agree, this should be a non-negoiatable item, tell him in a quiet time and quiet voice how you feel and that OW has to go off his jobs list. And agree on a time limit.
William Harley talks about joint ageement , here is a good chance to use it.
Quoting poepad: </font><blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr /> ow needs to go. it's humiliating to me and it should be humiliating to h to still work for her. I agree, this should be a non-negoiatable item, tell him in a quiet time and quiet voice how you feel and that OW has to go off his jobs list. And agree on a time limit.
William Harley talks about joint ageement , here is a good chance to use it.
the time limit has come to an end. ow's house WAS up for sale..was listed with ismh.com, did have open houses...did have the house as available as of june 30th (how kind I assume to let her kids finish the school year) it has not appeared as sold it has been dropped from ismh.com and does not appear with any other realtors, there is no sign infront of her house...I am assuming it's no longer for sale and heck even if it IS why should h keep her on for another year? in accepting that she stay on this year I was under the impression that the house would sell and she would move away...didn't happen..school has started and that would probably mean she'll be there till at least next summer...the school year not ending til june with the season starting in may? I can't go through another year of waiting for her to move...the only other option is for h to stop waiting for her to go away and to simply make her go away..there is no valid reason to keep the street....he has plenty of business and will not loose any as a result of it...if he wanted to be kind he could set them up with a company that he contracts some of his lawns out to.
he is aware of the fact that he created this problem (bet now he wishes his a was with a floozy in a bar instead of a floozy in his customer base) and now it would seem he just doesn't know what to do about it.
btw it should make you happy to know that I've looked up the audio for mars and venus...attempted to order two copies (they are only 10 a piece on the gray site) but my puter is acting up so I'll have to try again later.
if I do get them (one for me and one for h) how might I present them in a way that will not seem pressureing or demanding????
