Just got back from shopping with my son. Before we left, XH called to chat. He mentioned that he would be near the mall, so I suggested dinner. We met and the three of us had a great time.
As we were getting ready to leave the restaurant he hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I just bought a new suit. I know how much you like men in suits, so maybe we should go out Saturday night." (Not as if we'd go out that dressed up normally-- we actually have a funeral to attend this weekend) A date? Yikes. We have not been on one since January.
So, I will see what happens. I am not going to worry/think about what else is going on with his life. For now, I am going to be the better choice. That is something that I have not done with my depressed, mopey, and always-questioning self since this whole thing began. The thing is, I always thought that I felt I was the better choice...but I see now that it was more of a needy thing, as in "I have to be the better choice- we've been together for so long and we have a family!!! Now I feel good enough to think "I am the best choice, and if you don't see that, well, too bad for you!"
I know I have my ups and downs, but I think that I am getting closer and closer to adopting that as my constant attitude. I have let this situation dictate my attitude in a bad way for far too long.
I want to test out my own feelings. Then I will figure out what comes next. Not being so desperate to get him back for the sake of getting him back gives me a better perspective! Right now, I need to get to know this guy. And both of us need to believe that I like him. Yep, I see the importance of this. FOR BOTH OF US.
Lets not question why it took me so long to consider these things! Lets just be happy I got here.
