beno, I feel for your situation. Like others, I am relatively new to a very similar situation myself. Lots of confusion all the way around. I have been doing the gym thing every night since this began and I have to admit that is the absolute best therapy that I could invest in. It makes me feel stronger, more competent and strengthens my confidence that no matter what direction my wife chooses our marriage to go, I will be just fine!
I am enjoying rob's perspective on the subject as well. It almost seems like he has experienced many of the same things we are feeling right now.... ;-)
I have experienced many of the same things you are feeling right now, I myself, along with plenty of other friends in the same boat, one by one, we all fall, we started to joke that it was something in the water (and possibly it is, who knows), but yes I've gone through this all before except my situation is much better now, we aren't reconciled and I can't guarantee that it will happen either but I don't tolerate treatment like what was exhibited in the beginning and because of that I noticed subtle changes afterwards.
Beno, arranging stuff with the kids I guess would be ok, why not just set something in place that's repeatable, that way you don't have to contact her?
Also she can't just not have a job, how does she expect to support herself? Based on your earnings? She shouldn't count on that for many reasons.
Going to the gym is great, I agree, it's one of the areas you'll use to pump up your self-esteem.
If I didn't believe all of this followed a well rehearsed script, I wouldn't bother hashing it out here. If you guys can acknowledge that maybe 50% of what I've said thus far has happened with you, you may want to acknowledge that I'm alot more accurate than 50% because I know I am.
