Come on girl, not gonna give up on you. I'm really pulling for you to make it here. Is your glass half full or half empty?
All I'm saying is that looking at this from your H's viewpoint is that you are on him about something all the time. Especially this R stuff that H may not have the skills to cope with. He obviously didn't learn them while he was away, and he may never. You have to decide for you if that is acceptable or not.
Obviously from your view the OW has to go as a customer. I would support this too, but look at this from his view for just a sec - "I'm not gonna let LL tell me who I can and can't have as a customer!" He can't see the personal side versus his business side. I really don't think it's about the OW. It's about you telling him who HIS customers for HIS business can and can't be - your comments are like crabgrass in the middle of his lawn. It doesn't matter to him that you are right from a personal standpoint - H sees it as an invasion of HIS business. People have the ability to compartmentalize these kinds of things, that doesn't make them right - they just are.
I know in my own sitch that STBX was not sending anything but putdowns and rejecting me. And anytime I did get something right, it was either ignored or complimented in a lefthanded fashion. I never felt that STBX was proud of me or my accomplishments - professional or otherwise. After awhile that can drain you dry - both of you.
It would seem that there is alot of mindreading going on here too - both of you. You say that you ARE telling H what he needs to do - think that goes over too well? - can you say cheeseless tunnel?
Ultimately LL you have to decide for YOU. There seems to be an elusive spark there somewhere deep inside of H that draws you to him. Do you see this as potential - if H would just change this or do that I could be happy kind of thing? Men - in general - do not like to have the love of their life try to change them. And some men are so thick they think nothing needs to change - and if it is forced upon them they simply shut up and dig in their heels and do everything to stay the way they are - even if it hurts them and those they love.
Your H simply needs to figure it out - himself, in his own way, in his own time. Only you can decide if the time has run out. And LL, you've been here long enough to know that alot of us men will do nothing until the time has run out. Myself included.
