Let me give you the first step now, and I'll come back later with more:
Basically, the first step is to just firmly decide and believe that no one can control what I think except ME. And that means....(drum roll)...that when I have depressed thoughts, I CAN CONTROL THEM.
I think most doctors and other specialists are apt to believe that you cannot control your own thoughts and that depressed people are doomed to have these thoughts. That's why they prescribe meds, because the meds can help to control thoughts, but without them, doctors seem to think it is impossible.
I used to think that, too. I used to think that my thoughts and fears and depression were beyond my control and that the "bad thoughts" were coming from something other than my own free will.
I no longer think this. Now I realize that your thoughts are a product of your own choosing, AT ALL TIMES.
Now this new way of thinking can at first in itself be very depressing, because it means that on some level, you are choosing the depressed thoughts. So why are we masochists and choose these depressed thoughts, we might ask?
But now I understand that, although yes, in a sense we are choosing the depressed thoughts, but we are only doing so out of habit. Not out of self-hatred or masochism.
So the point then is to take control of your own thoughts, now that you have the belief that you DO actually control them (not something outside of yourself or your brain by itself), then you can do something about the thoughts that are keeping you down and making you depressed.
This is similar to Learned Optimism but I haven't actually read that book. My learning came from spiritual sources, where I learned what FREE WILL actually means.
Free will is literally, the freedom to believe and think whatever you want. No one can force you to think anything or believe anything...it is the only true freedom we really have is our own thoughts and your WILL comes from that same source.
So start by carrying this thought around with you for several weeks or days. Remind yourself when you find yourself thinking a depressed thought, or a worry or an angry thought, that YOU can control what you think. Don't try to control it or change it yet, just remind yourself that you CAN.
It took me many months/years to really get into the groove of this, and the accepting and believing I had control over my thougths was the longest part of the process....so let that part sink in well!
