he is back, i think

[mdoodles]

well its clear to me that no matter what he says or does, until he actually lives at home with me, i am going to be pestering him. when i called him before, i thought i heard someone in the background, so i decided it was her and i started flipping. we hung up and he called me back 5 minutes later saying, "i was in the middle of paying for the stuff for the store and u start screaming at me? u heard the person in the store". and he proceeds to tell me what he ordered for the store and when it will be delivered.

so i told him that he needs to understand what my concerns are, and telling me he isnt with her and hasnt seen her is not good enough, that i need to be shown proof she is out. i told him im extremely nervous, especially since he isnt home yet.

the truth is, this isnt going to work for me unless he moves home now, or within the next few weeks. i cannot see us "piecing" unless he lives here. i get that people do it slowly, and maybe slowly makes sense, but my way of learning to trust him involves sleeping next to him.

this is very hard.