Quoting lostlove: it is a terrible cycle that just seem to have no end...I try and try to get h to "be present with me" and when I finally "give up" and start to take steps toward making my life "full" regardless of what he is or isn't doing for the r...that is when he starts with phone calls and a bit of attention...would it be possible to have some stability and not have this constant cat and mouse bit going on??? should it be possible?
LL
Is it possible that you revert back to old patterns once h starts being responsive to you?
I'm paraphrasing here but something you said h said on an earlier post caught my eye...when you asked him to commit to a date a week he responded with something like...I can't do that ... something will happen and we'll miss a week and ....sounded like his issue was less about doing something with you and more about being held accountable for a standard/schedule that he wasn't sure he can maintain.
What if you took it a week at a time? or, as someone else suggested...plan a night out a week...if he can come, great, if not, you go do something. Not entirely what you were hoping for but maybe a step in the right direction?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
