Quote: I've been standing here with the damn bottle buffed shined and labeled waiting for h to poor the ketchup in...little drips is what we've got...someone needs to give that little 57 a whack and get things flowing..I thought that his experience with ow taught him some things..woke him up a bit...but it seems he's slumped a tad again.
I know... Each difficulty in our life provides us the opportunity to change...for the better. It seems your H perhaps at first was on this road, but yet again, got mired in his own muck.
You know, I've been thinking about you and your H a lot the last few days. Let me ask you something... It seems your H is always busy. When he's not busy, he's chilling out (practically sleeping) because he's tired from being busy. I know people who busy themselves into exhaustion. Why? Because they are trying to distract themselves from something hidden underneath that they don't want to face. My MIL is very much this way. I think your H is hiding in all the work he does. He's not hiding from you, but from himself.
People distract themselves in different ways, of course. Here, our Ses are distracting themselves with OP. My W certainly did because she was fearful of dealing with those raging feelings that were all clogged up inside of her. Her interpretation of the junk inside of her was that she wasn't happy because of our M, not herself. Naturally, it took time for her to realize this...and to realize that all her pervassive sweating, anxiety attacks, nervous energy, etc., all resided inside of herself...which was contrary to her outward appearance of strength and control.
So, it seems to me your H is afraid to "be," just wind down, chill out, and take some time to think. Again, I ask you, has he ever done any kind of serious self-examination, LL?
It saddens me that people can go through their entire lives without realizing this dynamic in themselves. I pray that your H comes out of his "protective" shell. I pray for him to have peace.
