something else i would like to share i told her today that i will be paying the first months rent on her new property, dont know if that was right or wrong but i feel i owe it to my kids, they need a home to. now i will buy some basic essentials but that is it nothing more, so my question is what now what do i do to try and turn this around in my favour, make her feel she hasn't got me there for emotional support. at the moment she has me exactly were she wants me, i just dont know how to deal with it, robx i thank you very much and you have shown me something here and i wont forget it, please keep posting robx,
Well you don't pay rent that's for sure.
If a drug addict asked you to buy drugs for them because they didn't have money, would you do it because you felt you owed it to them because they were family & you loved them?!
Do you love yourself?!
Where are the kids going? They can live with you, if your wife wants to move out, let her. But she needs to do this on her own, if she can't even take care of first month's rent, how will she be able to support herself & the kids at this new apartment afterwards?
You feel bad? No you feel guilty. You feel guilt because your wife is leaving you and you automatically assume it's because you weren't good enough and you need to stop feeling like that, she isn't leaving because of that (although she may try to make you feel that).
1. You will not lose your kids, so don't be afraid of losing your family. If you've demonstrated being a loving, caring, competent parent up until this point, you will petition for full or joint custody and you will get it, don't let anyone tell you different. If you remain silent and take what is given to you, that is just the same as you saying it's ok for this to happen. So stop this right now.
2. You don't need to support your wife during this time. If she is moving out on her own, it's her own decision and unless she finds some way to petition the courts for some type of marital support, she won't get a penny from you. Be a man, stick to your guns, be firm & strong without being mean.
