Yeah, reminds me of that saying "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater".
Just keep on a positive plan for you and your D in the mean time. I think the critical moment will be her opening up to you. She needs to trust you will forgive her no matter what (with the boundary that it will never happen again), so that would be my focus, providing that "safe zone", reinforcing that you can take whatever she has to say, without pressuring her to say it. I think once she is able to open up to you, a burden will be lifted from her and things will start to fall in place.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
