Wondering how to handle things

[Sanderika]

Hi kissak,

I feel you and I are in the same boat.

I completely agree that we have much to think about.

I, like you, think about this all the time.

I also need to know that I am completely emotionally ready to make a decision and hold my ground. It has been a long road and I am much stronger than I was earlier on in this sitch. I feel every day brings me closer to bringing an end to this. My H is certainly incapable of making a decision and sticking with it. I have been the rock he can come back to time and time again when he needs a place of stability or the safe haven from this MLC storm he is over his head in. I am tired.

On many days, I feel a D is the only solution. I feel that will create my H to face his problems once and for all. As long as I am here to lean on when times are roughest for him he has no reasons to make permanent changes. I feel we don't see him when things are going great in his world. This has taken a huge toll on us all, H included. We cannot ever get back the time we have lost and we can never have the same marriage we had before. After all this we are different people now.

If my marriage is not reconciled I don't even think I want a relationship again after all I have been through. This has been the most devastating experience. I have gotten up off the floor only to be knocked back down again so many times I have lost track. There isn't a wife alive who deserves what these husbands have done to us emotionally.

I have until July to make up my mind once and for all what I want to do. I hope 3 months is enough time for me to learn to let go once and for all. In my brain this is the right decision, it's getting my heart to agree.

Take care kissak.....

Sanderika