Only you know the answer to that, Vicky. No one can tell you that FOR you.
I do think you need to give the proper DB principles a chance, and unless you're willing to keep up NC for a period of time, you'll never know. You've simply GOT to some being reactive, and rein yourself in. You lost a ton of ground here today after doing SO WELL for over a week.
The GOOD news is, NONE of that is irrevocable. But you DO need to hop right back up on the horse.
