Wondering how to handle things

[mishka422]

True Lin.

Kissak, the control of this sitch is entirely in YOUR hands now. So, take the control and use it to put yourself in the position you want and need to be in. Of course, like Lin says, you have to decide.

I'll share with you how I made my decision. My xh is the one that left, he's the one that filed for D in the first place and then was content to let me hang in limbo forever with no resoution. I asked myself these questions:

1)If he came back to me again (already had twice and left shortly after back to OW), could I really accept that he had changed his heart and was going to give us an honest try? NO. I was sure he would turn tail and run again as soon as something didn't go exactly the way he wanted it.

2)Would I continue to question every word out of his mouth? Even the small things seemed like lies to me now. Would I feel that way forever? YES. He had done so much damage, not only since he left but even before that. My wary heart and head could not accept that he was capable of telling the truth about anything anymore because the lies rolled too easily off his tongue.

That was my thought process and that is the reason that I pushed the D through myself. He was content with the status quo, I felt like I was stuck and tied to an anchor that was weighing me down and slowly drowining me.

So, sink or swim K? You decide.