Journaling 4/8: yesterday I made it through the day without contacting H but it was tempting. I still can't believe how hard this is. This is another confirmation for me that I should never ever smoke or try any drugs of that matter. With my addiction to food \:\) and H, I can only imagine how addicted I would be to any other addictive substance. But, for now I am hanging in there. This actually may be the longest stretch of time H and I have gone without communicating of any sort negative or positive... 8 days.

So yesterday, another inevitable bombshell, I was served with foreclosure papers for our investment property, and even the tenants were served, embarassing. In my opinion this is all the spoils of H's damn A. So we were struggling to keep the property, especially in the winter with the cost of heating oil. And when H left, he left me to deal this all this by myself. When he left in Sept. we initially said that he would move into the property but then when OW needed a place to live Hell No was I going to allow her and him to live there after all the $ and hard work I put into it. So, I decided to better let it go than for them to benefit and since the property was for me and H's future/retirement and there is no future between H and I, I would not be stressed out over this damn investment. H left everything, all the debt and bills and everything for me to take care of. So I took the rent to pay off the bills that we had incurred on the property, the IRS audit, heat the building, and to do some other work needed on the place. I figured that if the bldg had to go then at least get rid of the bills, and I had plans of things I wanted to get done so I figure at least I will see one of my dreams to the end even if just for a while. So I got my contractor to do some upgrade on the place. Anyway, so now we stand to lose something else we have worked to build. Ah well, I can't be bothered really with the stress. I plan to see if I can negotiate to get something done to save it and I know it would be a total shame to lose the building b/c H and I put tons of $$ and work into it. But as the Bible says, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." I haven't informed H as yet that we were served. Should I text him this info? Naughty me, I thought about texting him the Bible verse too but should I just text him basic info that we were served? What you think?