Husband of WAW

[dday101798]

I have stopped pleading, crying, threatening suicide as these only pushed her further away from me.

That is definately rule #1 I learned the very hard way. Do not persue, and do not set any expectations for interactions you may have with her.

That said Antlers, you have a long, long road ahead of you. As suggested above, don't even think for a second you can get in her head and figure out what went wrong thinking "it's all her fault, she walked away". Like it or not, the cold hard truth is something you've said or done contributed. What you need to do is identify that and forgive her walking away. That is intself is a very, very hard thing to do, but it must be done.

When you figure out what it was, definatley do not go running to her proclaim you'll change it. JUST CHANGE IT, without putting on display either.

Statistic and my experience along with others I have conversed with here show that she will not have true second thoughts for atleast 6 months. There will be many occasions between now and then where it may seems as if she's coming around to that point, and you will get your hope all up and then be crushed again over and over each time she backs off yet again. Prepare for this, as mark said, PMA(positive mental attitude) is a MUST! Not only for you to help you get through this, but for your kids. They are the ones who are being hut the most. It's human nature for you to be hurt, but don't let them know how bad. Go to your bathroom, basement garage or where ever you can have privacy to break. You won't be able to do it all the time, sometimes, the slightest comment or something just laying around will cause you to break, it's natural, get it out, but not in front of them.

Come here to vent. DO NOT vent to friends as much as possible, gossip travels. Obviously through M, you both have mutual friends. This is especially true in that instance. Try to engage as little conversation as possible in that respect. Remember, your friends or famliy you talk to will always take your side and in some instances paint a bad mental picture in your head of your W as they only know your side.

So, as said, figure out what you did or didn't do. All the while, hard is at may be, get your mind off of it. Paint that fence you've been putting off, go work out or something, eat and sleep as this will take a a physical strain on you as well emotional.

In closing, when you start doing better she will notice. Thsi will bring about a curiosity in her and she will work those those "buttons" of yours to see if you're really acknowledging your issues. Don't let her. You will falter from time to time, I guaruntee it until you learn what those buttons are.

Hope that helps you out somewhat.