Wow, your story takes me right back to the beginnings of my own. With the exception of the pregnancy issue, my W did everyhing yours is doing, and I did everything you are doing. Listen to what she and everyone else is saying to you: stop the persuit! That was the hardest thing for me to do. I wrote long letters, emails, texts, etc., etc. This is not at all helpful b/c, a) you do make her feel only worse, and even though she should feel bad, I think this makes her withdraw from you more, b/c right now she wants to feel good, b) this only makes you feel worse, b/c let me guess, you don't ever get the response you had hoped for. Am I right? Believe me, I never got the response I wanted. After writing heart wrenching letters expressing my love and devotion, all I ever got back was a "thank you, but this doesn't change the way I feel." The OM is huge part of this picture, but he is not the cause/root. There were likely issues in your marriage, but even more significantly than that, your W has some deep issues probably stemming from her childhood. I don't know if I would recommend going dark yet, but definitely stop the chase. I had to find ways to show my W that I love her w/out being lovey and mushy. This is hard to do but can be done. My W and I back together now. She came back to me almost 2 months ago after she realized that my love for her was unconditional. I don't know your thoughts on this, but I'm a Christian, and I will say that the one thing that got me through this most difficult time in my life was my faith in God. I prayed constantly for my W and for my marriage, and it is b/c of him that it was restored. That's not to say that things are perfect, but they are getting better daily. I work in NYC, let me know if you need to just have coffee w/someone who has recently gone through this. I really mean that. I was so alone when this happened to me that all I wanted at the time was someone to talk to. Just some background, my W and I had just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary when all of this happened. We just bought a house together. Things seemed to be going well and then bam! I'm 30, I work at a major NYC university and we live accross the Hudson. I would love to help in any way that I can. You can get through this. Believe that.
