Thanks for the advice. It means a lot to hear from the 'other side' and understand a bit.
I admit when I first read DR, I thought, this whole notion of not pursuing doesn't make sense! Is this all just some ploy to have some unique idea to sell books (sorry, but I have to be honest)? If I go dark on her, how will she know I love her, won't she think I'm being cruel or that I don't care? So, I chased, I called, I texted, I wrote big long emails, not even telling her how I felt so much as just sharing my day and what my plans were. When we had a talk this Sunday, she said this chase was horrible to her, she didn't want me chasing after her right now, and she doesn't want me telling her how much I missed her because of course she knew that, she cries every day and every night about it, and me telling her just makes her feel worse and less able to think clearly.
The horrible part of me wants to say, darn right you should feel bad, because you're the one doing this. The solution-oriented me says (now), okay, then I'll stop this non-helpful behavior.
Right out of the book and right out of these forums.
It is so crazy-counter-intuitive for the LBS and so very hard, but I see that creating this space and GAL makes a lot of sense now.
